Blinded by the Light

eye examI had my annual visit with the eye doctor yesterday

Which I dread always.

Because of how they dilate your eyes.

Because of how the first drops sting! and the second drops open those pupils so they grow into two great lacunas in your head.

I looked just like these pictures above and below. ( Wo, I see my mustache is growing in again but you get the idea.)

eye exam dilated

PLUS, not to make a big deal here. but you can’t read.

And everything is so BRIGHT! Even with the roll-open-and-plant-on-your-face shades they gave me I almost had to throw my skirts up over my head to keep from having my retinas scorched by old Mister Sun. (And it was a cloudy day!)

I couldn’t even peer into my trusty mobile device the way we all do, consulting the mite-sized characters on its tiny screen the way the Ancients once studied the entrails of sacrificial animals.


All I could do was stagger about in a Walgreen’s more or less window shopping the easier -to-identify items like Huggies boxes and emesis basins.

Here’s me a full three hours after the drops. I had just tried to do business in the  Post Office, but ended up pocketing the letters I meant to mail and neatly affixing stamps to the corners of my two prescriptions.

At least I only have to do this once a year!
At least I only have to do this once a year!

Oy! At least I only to do this once a year

Author: Terry Marotta

I am syndicated columnist, blogger and author who loves any chance to give talks about the ease of first-person writing.

12 thoughts on “Blinded by the Light”

  1. Were you ever into Firesign Theater? I’ll bet not. They had a bit called “The Powerhouse Church of the Blinding Light” which had a hymn “Oh Blinding Light / Oh Light that blinds / Look out for me / I cannot see.” If we ever meet, I’ll sing it for you and you will be grateful for lesser pains like sunlight on dilated eyes. Actually I think there was a John Denver song about that.

  2. Thats odd you all seem to have trouble for a long period. I seem to be recovered within an hour but as I have matured I find bright light very hard to take normally. Need sunglasses a lot when previously I never did. (PS love your dress,
    dear Mugsy)

    1. thanks B. Luckily the eye doc told me not to bother filling the prescription for new glasses. I never wear them, I love my contacts so much, and next year when I go back my eyes will be all different anyway !

  3. I relate! Just back from eye exam and can’t bear the idea of going outside on this gorgeous day! I agree with Gwen.

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