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Blinded by the Light

02 Aug

eye examI had my annual visit with the eye doctor yesterday

Which I dread always.

Because of how they dilate your eyes.

Because of how the first drops sting! and the second drops open those pupils so they grow into two great lacunas in your head.

I looked just like these pictures above and below. ( Wo, I see my mustache is growing in again but you get the idea.)

eye exam dilated

PLUS, not to make a big deal here. but you can’t read.

And everything is so BRIGHT! Even with the roll-open-and-plant-on-your-face shades they gave me I almost had to throw my skirts up over my head to keep from having my retinas scorched by old Mister Sun. (And it was a cloudy day!)

I couldn’t even peer into my trusty mobile device the way we all do, consulting the mite-sized characters on its tiny screen the way the Ancients once studied the entrails of sacrificial animals.

Nope.

All I could do was stagger about in a Walgreen’s more or less window shopping the easier -to-identify items like Huggies boxes and emesis basins.

Here’s me a full three hours after the drops. I had just tried to do business in the  Post Office, but ended up pocketing the letters I meant to mail and neatly affixing stamps to the corners of my two prescriptions.

At least I only have to do this once a year!

At least I only have to do this once a year!

Oy! At least I only to do this once a year

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12 Comments

Posted by on August 2, 2013 in doctor visit, eyes wide open, humor

 

Tags: , , , ,

12 responses to “Blinded by the Light

  1. Joan

    August 2, 2013 at 8:25 am

    PRETTY PICTURE. WOW!

     
  2. Mike

    August 2, 2013 at 8:56 am

    I have not gone this year :) I am not a fan of eye exams.

     
    • Terry Marotta

      August 2, 2013 at 9:49 am

      Ah but you must go Mike, if only to do penance for the fact that you’re exempt from breast exams ;-)

       
  3. Deanna

    August 2, 2013 at 9:04 am

    It takes me 6-8 hours to be able to see correctly again after those beasts so I know how you felt!!

     
    • Terry Marotta

      August 2, 2013 at 9:48 am

      I know huh? Luckily I wasn’t on deadline!

       
  4. JohnL

    August 2, 2013 at 10:13 am

    Were you ever into Firesign Theater? I’ll bet not. They had a bit called “The Powerhouse Church of the Blinding Light” which had a hymn “Oh Blinding Light / Oh Light that blinds / Look out for me / I cannot see.” If we ever meet, I’ll sing it for you and you will be grateful for lesser pains like sunlight on dilated eyes. Actually I think there was a John Denver song about that.

     
  5. rjmaloney

    August 2, 2013 at 2:03 pm

    Thats odd you all seem to have trouble for a long period. I seem to be recovered within an hour but as I have matured I find bright light very hard to take normally. Need sunglasses a lot when previously I never did. (PS love your dress,
    dear Mugsy)

     
  6. Gwen P Straub

    August 2, 2013 at 3:48 pm

    You look fabulous, Dahling!

     
  7. szmnatti

    August 2, 2013 at 7:48 pm

    I am laughing and enjoying and relating. I love the accompanying photo. It’s as expressive as the written piece – great pairing!

     
  8. barbtaub

    August 4, 2013 at 3:53 am

    I wonder who you mailed those Rx to…

    So funny!

     
    • Terry Marotta

      August 5, 2013 at 12:15 pm

      thanks B. Luckily the eye doc told me not to bother filling the prescription for new glasses. I never wear them, I love my contacts so much, and next year when I go back my eyes will be all different anyway !

       
  9. Mary

    August 5, 2013 at 2:43 pm

    I relate! Just back from eye exam and can’t bear the idea of going outside on this gorgeous day! I agree with Gwen.

     

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Because one minute you're a baby and the next you're getting the senior discount - and there's no reversing direction!

The Freelance Retort

Because one minute you're a baby and the next you're getting the senior discount - and there's no reversing direction!

uppervalleygirl

Another Good Day in Rural America . . . . . . . © 2012, 2013, 2014 Ann Aikens ~ all rights reserved

Eating The Week

Week-size morsels of the stuff we eat

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